Desi Jokes Collection

Desi Jokes

Bhikhari Train me hath me x-ray liye bhikh mang raha tha,

I admi chillaya: Harami, Tu wohi hai na, Jo Gaand ka x-ray dikha ke bolta hai mere DIL me

 ched hai..
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‎7 yrs boy k rape case me pakda jane par:

Court me Lowyer(Boy ka Lu#d pakde hue): "ur honour is chhote se bachche ko dekho 

kya 

ye rape kar sakta hai?"

Boy to lawyer: "Itna na hila, nahin to case haar jayenge!!
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Pati-Jaan aj Mood Ho raha H

Wife-Na Aaj Nahi

Pati-Aa jao Yaar

Wife-Nahi

Child-papa rape kr lo Ya Mutth Mar K So Jao

Bakchodi mat karo,Subah school jana hai!
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lady Do TARAH ki Goli DENA

Ek To2MAHINEY Tak Pregnancy Na Ho &Ek 2MAHINE Tak Bilkul KHADA Na Ho

Chemist- aise kyu?lady-Qki 2 MAHINE K LIYE ME Gaon JA Rahi HU

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Ladki job ke liye interview dene gayi

Boss: Woh kya hai jis ke 2 wheel hote hai?

GIRL: Motor Cycle

Boss: nahi, Honda Motor Cycle

BOSS: woh kya hai jis ke 4 wheel hote hain?

Girl: Car

BOSS: No, Toyota car.

Girl gusse se: "ab mere sawaal ka jawaab do

"Aagey bhi baal peeche bhi baal beech mein Suraakh ?"

BOSS: "choot" ?

Girl: "NAHI TERI MAA KI CHOOT" ! :D :P

Indian Desi Jokes In Hindi | Desi SMS Collection,Desi SMS,Desi Jokes,Desi SMS Jokes,Desi SMS Hindi,Desi Jokes SMS,Desi Jokes Hindi,Indian Jokes In Hindi,Desi Jokes Facebook.

Santa :- 1 Bar 1 Ladki Ke Pichey Hath Dho K Pad Gya, Or Usko Ptane  Liye Kuch Naa Kuch Krta Rehta Tha,

1 Din Ladki Ney Tangg Akar Usko Pas Bulaaya Or Boli.

 “Merey Pichey Tum Apni Jindagi Barbad Mat Kro”

Santa :- Kyon ??

Ladki: “ Ish Rasty Main Pathar Or Kantton K Alava Kuch Nhi Milegaa “

Satna :- “Arey Pagli, Merey Pas Reebok K Shoes Hai Naa “

 

Desi Jokes

Collection Of Latest Desi Jokes

Chut aur Aankh

Aankhon Ko Kaajal Lagata Dekh Kar Choot Rone Lag Gayi Aankh Ne Hairan Hoke Pucha: “Bahan Ro Kyu Rahi Ho?”

Choot Rote Hue Boli: “Arey Isliye Ro Rahi Hun Ki, Log Dekhnege Tujhe Aur Thokenge Mujhe“

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Collection Of Latest Desi Jokes

Shadi ke baad dulhan ko uski saheli ne phone karke pucha, “meri di hui
saree pahni kya ? ”

Dulhan : 1 hafte se kachhi to pahenne nahi de raha, saree kya khaak
pahnu…

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Collection Of Latest Desi Jokes

ek dafa randikhane main chapa pad jata hay..dhandha bahat acha chal
raha tha…aik amma waha say guzar rahi hoti hain..woh rush dekh ker
aik gashti say poochti hay k kya hua..woh ghusse main bolti hay..kuch
nahi amma tofiya bat rahi hain…amma bolti hay acha..or line main
khari ho jati hay..police wala sab k naam likh raha hota hay…jab woh
amma k paas pohochta hay to bolta hay:..amma .. tum bhi.!!!..amma bolti
hay: BETA DAANT NAHI HAY TO KYA HUA ..CHOOS TO SAKTI HOON

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Collection Of Latest Desi Jokes

Sardaar Dukaandaar se : Bhai , aisi scheme kyon nahin chalu karta ki
500 rupiye ki kahridaari pe chudai free ?

Dukaandaar : arre , pichhle mahine hi to chalu kari thi ye scheme …
Parjai ne to ye scheme poore mahine mein 5 baar li.........

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Collection Of Latest Desi Jokes

Madam: Sabse jyada Protein kis k doodh mein hota hai?

Boy: 16 saal ki ladki k doodh mein.

Madam: Wo Kaise?

Boy: Usko peete hi bina haddi wale part mein bhi Jaan aa jati hai.

Collection Of Latest Desi Jokes

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Ek baar ek bihari bhaiya sardar ke paas aata hai aur kahta hai ki
babu ji punjabi sikhani hai… Sardar hansa aur kahta hai ki tu nahi
seekh sakta punjabi, punjab taa khoon wich hundi hai…

Bihar agle din phir sardar ke paas pahunch jata hai aur kahta hai ki
babu ji , punjabi sikhani hai, sardar phir usko kahta hai ki eh nahi
ho sakda, punjabi khoon wich hundi hai….

teesray din phir bhaiye ke andar ungli hoti hai aur woh phir chala
jaata hai sardar ke paas ki punjabi sikhni hai, sardar kahta hai ki
bhaiya ji, punjabi khoon wich hundi hai, agar itna ungli ho rahi hai
to aao sikha deta hu punjabi..

puray ek mahine traininng chalti hai.. bhaiya pure dil ke saath
punjabi sikhta hai… end mai aati hai imtehaan ki ghadi, sardar
kahta hai ki aaj agal tu imtihaan paas kar gaya to tu pakka
punjabi ….

woh ek table pe pani ka gilas phainkta aur bolta hai ki isko punjabi
mai kya bolega …

Bhaiya : eh paani kinne sutiya ???? sardar kahta hai ki galat hai,
second chance

bhaiya : eh glaas kinne doliya hai ??? sardar phir kahta hai galat,
last chance

bhaiya :eh paani kinne doliya hai?? sardar kahta hai o chhad yaar…

sardar apne chhote ladke ko bulata hai aur table dikhata hua kahta
hai : oye chhotu idhar aa, aa dekh ..

chhotu table par paani pada hua dekh ke kahta hai : bhaincho, Eh maa
kinne ch udai hai ???

Sardar bhaiye ko kahta hai ki maine pahle hi bola tha ki punjabi
khoon wich hundi hai…

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Collection Of Latest Desi Jokes

Ek sardar ki gaand pe funsi nikal aayi, wo doctor se dawai laya.

Ghar pe pant utar ke sheeshe mein dekh kar dawai lagaane laga.

Aisa karte hue uske Lund khada ho gaya.

Sardar bola : baith ja Baith ja! Apni hi gaand hai. Baith Ja..

Collection Of Latest Desi Jokes

Ek Aadmi ek andhi ladki ko chod raha hota hai, Andhi ladki ne aadmi ke
neeche hath dal ke tatola aur poocha “yeh kya hai??

Aadmi : yeh tatte hain
Andhi Ladki: Kya yeh chut mein nahi dalogae??
Aadmi : nahi, nahi yeh bahar hee latkenge
Andhi Ladki: Dekho jo kuch daalna hai poora dalna, andhi ka haqq na
maarna

Collection Of Latest Desi Jokes

Mera Peecha MAT KAROOO!!!
Mai Sharif Ladki hun.
Bas ek bar bolungi …I L U.
Sirf ek bar milungi bas!!!
Kuch karna nahi…
Koi dekh lega
Bas upper se kar lo
Panty mat urato
Bas ek bar hi karwaungi
Sharam aarahi hai.
Bahut lamba hai
Meri chut mai itna mota nahi jaygaa
Jor se mat dalna
Bahut dard ho raha hai
Chuchi ko chuso
Kamar ko pakad ke dalo
Jor se dhakka maro
Bahar mat nikalo

Collection Of Latest Desi Jokes

Ek Sardar apne bete ke saath, Deepawali ke shub awsar par phatake udda
raha tha

Usne ek rocket uddaya, lekin woh rocket defective tha, Rocket phuzz
karke ulte direction mai kahin udd gaya

Sardar : Behn di phuddi, kahan gayee??

Beta : Kaunsi behan di phuddi, Amritsar Wali Ya Chandigarh wali

Collection Of Latest Desi Jokes

Ek baar baadshah akbar ke darbaar me ek santri tha. Uska naam lallan
tha. Uska record tha ki usne jiski bhi Gaand maari wo tarakki kar
gaya. Lekin wo khud santri ka santri hi rah gaya.

Ye baat feel karte hue usne khud ki hi gand maarne ki sochi, aur raat
ko minaar pe chad gaya aur apni hi maarne ka prayaas karne laga.
Lekin wo minaar akbar ke bedroom ke saamne thi aur achaanak akbar ki
nazar pad gayi, usne fauran sipaahi bhej kar usse pakad kar darbaar
mein pesh karne ko kaha.

Agli subah darbaar mein,

Akbar : Tum raat ko kya kar rahe the.

Lallan : Zille ilaahi maine aaj tak jiski bhi Gaand maari wo tarakki
kar gaya lekin mein wahi 500 rupaye kamaane waala hi reh gay.

Akbar : aaj se tumhaari tankhwaa 1500 ki jaati hai lekin ye harkat
dubaara nahi honi chahiye?

Lallan : Badshah salaamat, Abhi to sirf topa hi gaya tha…

Desi Jokes

Desi Jokes : Desi Chut Jokes

Bhikhari Train me hath me x-ray liye bhikh mang raha tha,
I admi chillaya: Harami, Tu wohi hai na, Jo Gaand ka x-ray dikha ke bolta hai mere DIL me ched hai.. =========================================================

Desi Jokes : Desi Chut Jokes

‎7 yrs boy k rape case me pakda jane par:Court me Lowyer(Boy ka Lu#d pakde hue): "ur honour is chhote se bachche ko dekho kya ye rape kar sakta hai?"
Boy to lawyer: "Itna na hila, nahin to case haar jayenge!! =========================================================

Desi Jokes : Desi Chut Jokes

Pati-Jaan aj Mood Ho raha H
Wife-Na Aaj NahiPati-Aa jao YaarWife-Nahi
Child-papa rape kr lo Ya Mutth Mar K So Jao
Bakchodi mat karo,Subah school jana hai! ==================================================

Desi Jokes : Desi Chut Jokes

lady Do TARAH ki Goli DENA
Ek To2MAHINEY Tak Pregnancy Na Ho &Ek 2MAHINE Tak Bilkul KHADA Na Ho
Chemist- aise kyu?lady-Qki 2 MAHINE K LIYE ME Gaon JA Rahi HU ==================================================

Desi Jokes : Desi Chut Jokes

Ladki job ke liye interview dene gayi
Boss: Woh kya hai jis ke 2 wheel hote hai?
GIRL: Motor Cycle
Boss: nahi, Honda Motor Cycle
BOSS: woh kya hai jis ke 4 wheel hote hain?
Girl: Car
BOSS: No, Toyota car.
Girl gusse se: "ab mere sawaal ka jawaab do
"Aagey bhi baal peeche bhi baal beech mein Suraakh ?"
BOSS: "choot" ?
Girl: "NAHI TERI MAA KI CHOOT" ! :D :P

Desi jokes

Desi Jokes: Funny Desi Jokes

Green,Pink,Yellow An english man and a desi man were both going to a interview. They were asked to use the colours green. pink and yellow. The english man goes in and says the grass is green, the sun is yellow and the sunset is pink. The desi man goes in and says my phone goes green green i pink it up and i say yellow!!

Desi Jokes: Funny Desi Jokes

Just Before I Die Showing his friend around his home, Jennings pointed out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage.

"The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth."

"Well," his friend replies, "since you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, you'll never be able to sell!"

"And that's where you're wrong," the man smiled. "If I sell it, my wife would kill me!"

Desi Jokes: Funny Desi Jokes

Why Dog Watch Me Eat ? Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"

Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from." 

Desi Jokes: Funny Desi Jokes

BILLO & TILLO Two friends Billooo & Tillooo went to school for appearing in English exam (7th standard). They had crammed an essay of "MY BEST FRIEND". But unfortunately, in the question-paper it was written ...... write an essay on "MY FATHER” in just 30-45 words .So Billooo was utterly confused & nervous ...what to do!!! Tillooo gave an idea . . . . Just write the essay My best friend & just keep on replacing the word friend with the father..... So this was how Billooo & Tillooo wrote the essay "MY FATHER"......Fathers & fathers are everywhere, but good fathers are very rare. I have so many fathers, but my best father is pyarelal. He is my neighbour. He often comes to my home & my mother likes him very much.

Desi Jokes: Funny Desi Jokes

PAKISTANIS ON MOON 3 scientists happen to meet each other by chance at a party, an American, a Russian, and a Pakistani. They boast their country's science achievements. The Russian says: We were the 1st ones in space, the American says, we were the 1st to go to moon, The Pakistani thinks hard and says: we will be 1st ones on the sun! Both the American and Russian start laughing, and say to the Pakistani, you stupid the sun is too hot, your spaceship will burn b4 it reaches the sun. The Pakistan scientist remains cool and calm, and says: You are stupid. We will go there at night!!!

Desi Jokes: Funny Desi Jokes

MUSLIMS There were two Christians Travelling on a plane. Sitting behind them was a Muslims. As they realized that a Muslims is Travelling with them. They started talking loudly with each other.
James said to Tim.
Tim where r u going, hopefully to Dubai.
Tim said Nah
There are too many Muslims, streets and roods are flooded with them.
James smiles and said then u must be going to Iran.
Tim said r u mad, Muslims in Iran are more fanatic and mad then Dubai.
Muslim who was listening to them could not bear it and said hey u both go to hell, for sure there would be no Muslim. 

Desi Jokes: Funny Desi Jokes

CLEVER Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: Moon...
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it

Desi Jokes: Funny Desi Jokes

GERMS Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.

Desi Jokes

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Definition of Biwi:

Biwi vo hoti hai jo shaadi ke baad apne pati ki sari aadto ko badal deti hai aur fir kehti hai.. "aap pehle jaise nahi rahe".
(Characters count: 145)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Guy Searches on the Google..
“Free Dinner in 5 star hotel”
.
.
.
.
.
On the top of GOOGLE search it shows:
“Mungeri Lal ke Haseen Sapne”
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Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Yeh desi biwia apne pati ko A.G kyon bolti hai?
Biwia sabhya hoti hai, bhare bazar mein Abe Gadhe (A.G) kehna dirty lagta na, iss liye A.G bol ke kaam chala leti hain.

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Manager: Sorry, mein aap ko koi job nahi de sakta. Mere pas tum ko dene ke liye koi kaam nahi hai.
Santa: Oh sir ji, aap chinta na karo, bas mere ko job de do. Mein aap se kaam dene ke liye kabhi nahi kahunga.

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Desi Hindi Boy: Mein tumare sath shaadi nahi kar sakta. Ghar wale nahi maan rahe.
Desi Hindi Girl: Tumhare ghar mein kon kon hai.
Desi Hindi Boy: Ek biwi aur 2 bachhe.

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Bachha: Papa ek glass pani dena
Dad: Apne aap le lo
Kid: Nahi aap de do pleez.
Dad: Agar dubara mere se pani manga to 2 thapad marunga.
Kid: Papa, jab thapad marne aaoge to pani lete aana.. Papa paani dena.

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Sardar ko sapne me ek ladki ne chappal mari,
2 din tak sardar apne bank nahi gaya,
Qnki bank me likha tha
“Hum aapke sapne ko hakikat me badalte hain”

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Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Ek chor amir lok ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. Trunk pe likha tha “Trunk ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 156 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao, trunk khul jayegi. Jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi.”
Jate jate chor us lok se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!

(Characters count:305)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Rubel gora tha. Jab uska ladka paida hua toh woh kala tha.
Tab Rubel apne patni ke paas jata hai aur pucha hai, “Yaar main bhi gora tha tum bhi gori thi to bachcha kaise kala paida ho gaya?”
Aur pher uski bibi ne jawab diya, Darling mein vi Hot tum vi hot sayad “Bachcha Jal gaya hoga.”

(Characters count:287 )

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

BANTA Ne HAJAMAT Ki Dukan Kholi..
Santa SHAVE Karane Aya.
Banta:- Muchh Rakhni Hai
SAnta-Ha
Banta(Mucch Kaat Ke)-Le Rakh Le, Jahan Rakhni Hai.

(Characters count: 144)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Boy to friend: Dekho voh ladki meri taraf dekh ke muskura rahi hai.
Friend: Yeh to kutch bhi nahi, jab maine pehli bar tumari shakal dekhi thi to 3 din apni hassi nahi rok paya tha.

(Characters count: 182)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Principal: If any boy is found in or around girl's hostel, he will be fined Rs 300 for first time, Rs 500 for second time & Rs 800 for third time.
Student: How much will you charge for monthly pass, sir ?

(Characters count: 206)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party:

Hi! I am sardar,
This is my sardarni,
He is my kid,
and…. she is my kidney.

(Characters count: 139)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

1Baccha Paida Hote Hi Nurse s Bola-MOBILE h Kya?
Nurse:-Hai Par Tu Kya Karega
Baccha: Bas GOD Ko Ek CALL Karni H Ki Mai Pahuch Gaya hu. Meri Wali ko Bhej Do

(Characters count: 157)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Teacher: Late kyo aaye ho?
Santa: Mumy papa lad rhe the
Techr: wo lad rhe the to tum kyo late aaye?
santa: mera 1 juta maumy k pass or Dusra papa k paas tha!

(Characters count: 158)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Ek 10 saal ka bachha dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: “Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare”.
Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.
Kid: Main yeh dekh raha tha ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.

(Characters count: 229)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Sardar ki Beti hui.
Biwi: suno ji jb ye bari hogi tou Larke ise tung krn ge.
Sardar: Me ne is problem ka solution dhondh lia he hm iska nam "BAJI" rakhn ge;-)

(Characters count: 159)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Santa tum Is office Mein kUb se kam kr rahe hO ?
BaNtA : Jub se BoSs ne MuJhe nOkRi sE
nIkalne kI dhamkI dI hA ...;->

(Characters count: 117)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Aik Pagal (hath mai cigarette chupa kr):
batao mere hath mai kia hai?
dosara pagal: rail gari...
1st:Tumhe kaise pata chala?
2nd:maine dhuwan niklte dekha...

(Characters count: 158)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

boss:pichle 6 mahino mein tumne kitni chhutiya li hai.
kabhi bimari,to kabhi honeymoon,
bacheki bimari.ab kya hai?
karamchari:kal meri shaadi hai.

(Characters count: 148)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Chemistry Ki class mein teacher ne aik larki se pocha:
What is “Nitrate” ?
Larki sharma k boli:
Sir,
Rs.1500/=

(Characters count: 111)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Maine kaha "Dil Ruba"
Usne kaha balance bhijwa..
Maine kaha "Paise Nahi"
usne kaha "Kaise nahi"..
Maine kaha "Mehangai Hai"
Usne kaha "Ja aaj se tu mera bhai hain." :"-)

(Characters count: 163)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Teacher : usne khudkhushi kar li,
use khudkhushi karni padi,
farak batao ?
Student : pehla padha likha berojgar tha,
dusra shadi-suda tha.. !

(Characters count: 145)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Saas: Khuda ne tumhe do aankhe di hai, Chawal se
patthar nahi nikal sakti kya?
Bahu: Khuda ne tumhe battis daant diye hai do
char 2-4 patthar nahi chabba sakti kya!!!

(Characters count: 167)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Ek doctor apne dost se,
yar main soch rha hoon ki yahan clinic khol loon
dost: yar tumhara khyal to acha hai magar yahaan ka qabristan chota hai

(Characters count: 143)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Anath Ashram worker kanjoos se:
Sethji, aap hamare anath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte hain?
Kanjoos: Mein anath ashram mein apne 4 bachhe bhej sakta hu.

(Characters count: 153)

Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Mom: Why R U pregnant?
Daughter: This is our project in college about “Miracle of Life”
Mom: Tell me who is he?
Daughter:I dont know, it was a group project.

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Desi Jokes : Desi Jokes Collection : Pakistani Funny Jokes

Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.